Vanilla Ice attempts career comeback in performance at TCU
COMMENTARY
Sarah McClellan

As the early ‘90s one-album wonder, Vanilla Ice, ran onto the stage Monday night in front of the Student Center, a surprisingly loud cheer (or was it a burst of laughter?) erupted from the audience, and a wave of nostalgia came over me.

Despite Ice’s newfound hardcore image, I found myself transported back to the fifth grade, sitting in my best friend Cyndi’s bedroom, reciting the lyrics to “Ice Ice Baby,” and choreographing a synchronized dance to it. She even had the cool “Vanilla Ice” pants that my mom wouldn’t let me wear.

As sure as those days are over, so are Ice’s days of being taken seriously. Though he is back “with a brand new invention,” his show was not anything to “stop, collaborate and listen” to.

Aside from the extremely unnecessary “DJ Don’t Play,” whose spinning is reminiscent of a Kid Rockperformance (let’s face it — it’s a rip off), and the overly-insane, Incubus wannabe drummer, the Ice himself committed a variety of party fouls Monday night that made him look like a wannabe instead of a real rocker.

For instance, to enhance his pseudo rocker image, he threw bottle after bottle of water on the crowd. He kept spraying and spitting for at least half of each song (that’s what occupied any of his time that wasn’t spent jumping around like a monkey on cocaine). It was not an adrenaline induced rocker tendency — it was annoying. He was even so kind as to purposely try to throw water on my cameras when he noticed me and three friends in the front row trying to protect the expensive equipment. What a sweetie.

Another part of his rocker act that did not work was the lyrics, some of which were obviously overdone and over-lewd. I am usually not one to judge a song by its curse words, but I think “hot sex baby,” chanted repeatedly, is a little much. He (and his “entourage”) also insisted on repeating the phrase “Go white boy, go white boy, go!” to fill any lull in the show.

The performance ranged from trying too hard to reverse his teen heartthrob image (he spoke in a fake throaty growl to oust fans’ memories of his high pitched squealings), to singing “Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go!,” and “Ice Ice Baby,” because he knows the familiarity of what was once a craze is what actually attracts his audience.

Is it becoming a trend for former teen heartthrobs to try to revamp their fizzled careers at TCU? Anyone who is not a first-year student will remember last year’s “Missed the Mall Tour” performance of Tiffany and her new Shirley Manson-like image. Tiffany also performed her old hit single, “I think we’re alone now.” I think we may end up with “Poison” during finals week.

Little do Vanilla Ice and Tiffany know, their new personas are still gimmicks. As people once went for the teen idol images, people now go for the novelty of seeing former teen idols who they once may not have been able to get tickets to (kind of like women who would still go see Frankie Avalon and Davey Jones). Talent is not a factor at this point, and now it’s free. So, Ice, though your performance was a valiant effort at a comeback ... been there, done that, and no, I didn’t buy the “Word to Your Motha” T-shirt.

Photo Editor Sarah McClellan is a senior news-editorial journalism and political science major from Canyon, Texas.