Women expect proper conduct from men in clubs, not sexual harassment
Guys need to learn what lines to never cross when flirting or interacting in a bar or a club.
COMMENTARY
Jacque Petersell

Be warned, it’s a whole other world out there. Or should I say in there — in the bars and clubs that neighbor TCU.

The rooms are dark and filled with smoke. The few lights are used to blind those few brave souls who chose to perform on the stage. People sit on ripped stools clustered around small wobbly tables.

The settings are similar — everything from the music and appearance down to the guy eyeing you from across the room.

Yeah, that guy. He’s like you in many ways. You’re both out with friends. You’re both at the same bar. And you’re both just looking to have a little fun. Just a note, guys: The majority of women aren’t there for your enjoyment. We’re there for ours.

We’ve done our homework. Laugh if you must, but Cosmo and Glamour don’t have high subscription rates for nothing. At least through various magazines, we’ve gotten a little bit of insight on your psyche.

And if you’re in the TCU area, it can almost be guaranteed that someone at the table already knows something about you, and has probably told the woman you’ve been eyeing some of your faults.

Even what you think is the most innocent of activities can turn bad, such as buying a woman a drink. If you buy her one, do it because you want to. Don’t do it because you want something in return.

Be a gentleman, for once. If she offers to buy the next drink, do not reply by saying she can pay you back in other ways. (Do you know how many times women hear that phrase?

In a work setting, that might be considered sexual harassment.)

If you’re at a club, a word of advice: Watch your space. Sure its fun to dance with you at a club, but it’s not an open invitation for getting too close. We’d rather not be covered in your sweat.

Also, watch your hands. Things have a time and a place, and the dance floor is neither.

As one college woman said, “Make sure you keep your hands where if a preacher saw you, you wouldn't be embarrassed.”

And then there are the guys who make a beeline for a woman as soon as eye contact is made. Even an unintentional wink could be cause for instant contact.

Eye contact may or may not mean anything. Sure, I may have glanced your way. Maybe I was looking at the guy standing next you. Then again, I may have just had something in my contact lens.

While most guys are being, well, guys, and we can laugh at their antics and maybe even call their lines cute, there does come a point when the trying goes too far.

Do not hover around our table. If you talk to a woman at the bar, and she rejoins her friends, it’s not always an open invitation for you to join as well. And just standing there, watching, freaks us out.

Also, do not follow us around. While you’re watching one woman in particular, the rest of the table is watching you. If she goes to the bathroom and you follow her, even if your intentions are harmless, be assured she’s got a friend or two trailing you to grab her arm and lead her in another direction.

Consider yourself warned. Do not cross these lines.

Come on, we’re women. We like to get dressed up and go out. We like to hang out with our friends, listen to good music and maybe take a few glances at the cute bass player.

And we do like to flirt, but we know where our limits are.

It’s time you learned yours.

Copy Desk Chief Jacque Petersell is a senior news-editorial journalism major from Houston. She can be reached at (j.s.petersell@tcu.edu).