Puppy love goes beyond moral values

In Piscataquis County, Maine, a 71-year old man was arrested for attempted murder when he maliciously attacked his son with a crowbar.

Although this may seem somewhat odd, it’s hardly important or strange enough to make national news. However, it gets a little more interesting when one discovers the father’s reason for attacking his own son.

It seems that Frank Buble assaulted Philip Buble because of the younger Buble’s relationship with his “wife.”

Again, one would wonder why, but it still doesn’t seem to be anything completely abnormal.

Here’s the kicker: The son’s “wife” happens to be his dog, Lady.

Yes, it appears Daddy Buble was attacking his son because he was disturbed by Philip Buble’s relatively distasteful bestiality habit. Is it just me, or is there something seriously wrong with this situation? This is disturbing to the point that it’s really hard to blame the father for wanting to harm his obviously deranged son.

I guess I’ll just never understand what makes a person resort to checking out their dog. Maybe there’s just not a lot of selection in Maine.

Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end here. Claiming that his dog is his wife, Philip Buble wrote a formal letter from “Philip and Lady Buble” (apparently Lady chose to traditionally adopt her husband’s last name) that included his signature and a hand-drawn paw print to request that Lady be allowed to be present in court. A paw print! I really don’t think any further comment is necessary on that.

Here’s an excerpt from the letter:

“I’d like my significant other to attend by my side if possible, as she was present in the house during the attack, though not a witness to it, thank goodness. I’ve been informed personal permission is needed, given that my wife is not human, being a dog of about 36 pounds and very well behaved.”

Oh, if she’s well behaved then ... c’mon people, it seems someone forgot to inform me when the world completely lost its sense of dignity and moral value. The pure asininity of this story is so beyond human understanding that words really can’t even begin to describe how many things are wrong with this situation (at least the request was denied by someone with a glimpse of sanity). But I’ll give it a try anyway.

My favorite aspect of this whole ordeal is Philip Buble’s comment that his father needs some serious therapy.

His father needs therapy? Wow, if you looked up the word “hypocrite” in a dictionary, it should be a crime not to have a picture of Philip and a caption saying something like, “Proof that God makes mistakes.”

It truly is depressing that people like this even exist in the world. Not only does Philip Buble have no moral or human value, but he wants to parade his pet (I can’t bring myself to call the poor dog his wife again) in front of his tormented father at the trial again.

Actually, I wouldn’t mind if the bailiff wasn’t able to stop Frank Buble when he most likely jumps out his chair during the trial and attempts to finish the job he started.

Jordan Blum is a sophomore broadcast journalism major from New Orleans.
He can be reached at (j.d.blum@student.tcu.edu).

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