Not so boring after all

By Mark Lewis
Skiff Staff

Dull. Unexciting. Uninteresting. Ho-hum. Boring.

Boring, Ore., is a place with a name that seals its stereotypical destiny. However, this small town in the Portland metropolitan area has its own character and charm, as Peter Eidenberg, a sophomore business management major, often describes.

A native of Boring, Eidenberg often finds himself shying away from direct questions about where he is from. He said he braces against sneers and chuckles when he reveals the true name of his hometown.

Eidenberg poses in front of the United States Post Office in is hometown Boring, Ore., located near Portland, Ore.

“I used to say that I’m from the Portland area, but people normally press on, or friends tell people where I’m from,” he said. “But now I’ve chosen to just accept my roots. It’s my identifying mark. People don’t know my name, but when people say, ‘That’s the Boring guy,’ they know who they’re talking about.”

Boring is a small suburban mill town. In fact, it is a suburb of a suburb. Gresham, the next largest city behind Portland, is about 15 minutes away. Eidenberg said his hometown was named after the Boring family and was established around the turn of the century.

“(Downtown) Boring is built up around a sawmill and bars that the workers go to after they get off work,” he said. “We have three taverns within a half-block radius. Our downtown is essentially two gas stations, a restaurant and the mill.”

Last year, the sawmill closed down, which was the largest employer in Clackamas County. This, of course, affected the Boring economy, especially in the downtown district.

Eidenberg said the three taverns felt the largest impact from the sudden loss of customers. However, Eidenberg said Wal-Mart plans to move into the vacant space, and that will be “big time” for his town.

Laurie Meisner, a sophomore secondary education and Spanish major at Boise State University, has known Eidenberg for six years and lives in nearby Troutdale. She said Eidenberg’s personality and hometown name clash, and that he is the opposite of the dull persona that Boring suggests. However, she said the name is accurate for the personality of the area.

“Boring is boring,” Meisner said. “I’m not joking. The only thing to do in Boring is to drive through to Peter’s house. If you blink, you might miss it.”

Despite the limited commerce in the downtown area, Boring has attracted many people because of its rural appeal. Eidenberg’s mother, Linde Eidenberg, said she enjoys the small-town nature.

“Boring is family-oriented,” she said. “It’s a rural suburb. It’s close to Portland, but it is still out in the country. It’s close to the coast, mountains and the countryside. It’s a nice location.”

Perhaps the appreciation of the natural landscape comes from the area around the Eidenberg home. Like many other housing plots in the area, grassland and evergreen trees surround it. Rural roads connect the spread out homes, and sometimes the only evidence of a house is a road-side mailbox. Vineyards and tree farms dot the landscape. Evergreen tree farms are important since Clackamas County is the Christmas tree capital of the nation.

A picturesque view of Mount Hood can be seen outside the Eidenberg kitchen, framed by trees and hillsides. A pasture borders the house, and the family keeps about 17 cows.

“If it were up to my mom, we wouldn’t have them at all,” Peter Eidenberg said. “I think my dad takes some pleasure in the fact that we have cows. He enjoys it. But our cows are the most infamous cows in Boring because there is a fence yet to be built that can contain them. Some friends call my dad (a family medical practitioner) the Boring Cattle Baron.”

Peter Eidenberg also said the cows provide the beef for the household, so they stopped naming the cows a few years ago.

Meisner said she particularly liked the livestock aspect of the Eidenberg home.

“I’ve always wanted to go cow-tipping, but he wouldn’t let me,” she said.

Peter Eidenberg denies that cow-tipping is even possible, contrary to widespread belief.

“Cows don’t even sleep standing up,” he said. “They lay down. People can tip them when they’re awake because they’re just too stupid to run. Once we had visitors from California, and I let them chase my cows around the field all night long trying to tip them, unsuccessfully.”

Despite nearly three decades that the family has lived and enjoyed Boring, Linde Eidenberg said she still sees the humor in her little town’s name.

“Putting return addresses of Boring is kind of funny,” she said. “Even today people call for my home address, and when I say it, people laugh. They ask, ‘Are you sure?’”

Peter Eidenberg said when people react to his hometown, they often ask, “Is it boring in Boring?” or “People must yawn a lot there, huh?
“Like I’ve never heard that before.”

Mark Lewis
m.e.lewis@student.tcu.edu