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Legislation, rights
for pigeons is for the birds
Yet
another parasite-ridden, filthy pigeon has found my newly washed
car the pristine target for its excrement. Last year, I was all
about being one with the pigeon, but now I just want it dead. It
has crapped on my car for the last time.
Yet my malignant impulses are held in sway by the mere fact that
exterminating pigeons without a license is illegal in Los Angeles
County.
Apparently, legislative fondness for pigeons erupted nationally
in 1998, when some weirdo was found poisoning pigeons with pesticide
in New York City’s Central Park.
Pigeon activists had their genocide, and they were not going to
let it go.
Cornell University’s ornithology laboratory started a pigeon-watch
program. People all over the world would send them pictures of distinguished
pigeons.
In South Africa, some smugglers trained carrier pigeons to eat diamonds.
The pigeons then flew to their fellow smugglers, who chopped them
open and sold the diamonds to the highest bidder. Police caught
on to this rather ingenious scam, and found nearly $12,000 worth
of uncut diamonds in a pigeon.
Why can’t that pigeon poop on my car?
Rebecca
Zak is a columnist for the Daily Trojan at the University of Southern
California. This column was distributed by U-Wire.
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