The vampire queen
“Queen of the Damned” needs more muscle
By Al Brumley
KRT Campus

It’s gotta be rock ‘n’ roll music, if you wanna dance with the Queen of the Damned.
And nothing gets Akasha's sexy belly shakin’ like Lestat’s meager attempt at debbil music.

© 2002 Warner Bros. Pictures Aaliyah, left, and Stuart Townsend star in the supernatural adventure “Queen of the Damned.”

That’s Lestat as in the band, led by - who else? - the Vampire Lestat, who has been rattled from a 100-year slumber by the wailing of amplified guitars and the promise of god-like worship.

If you’re seeing a pattern here, well, director Michael Rymer seems determined to use “Queen of the Damned” to make some kind of statement about rock, pop culture and celebrity worship.

Exactly what that statement is gets lost in a gloppy miasma of goo, blood and annoying sound effects. But fans of Anne Rice, upon whose work, of course, the film is based, will no doubt leave happy, sated by a few clever lines and enough retro, Goth-oh-golly-oh-gee sets to outfit every hotel lobby in Soho.

And, as cold as it sounds, the film has the death of Aaliyah in its corner. The promising young singer - cast as Akasha, the titular queen - died shortly after the movie wrapped. No doubt legions of fans will flock to theaters to see her final film performance.

Unfortunately, she was not quite ready to take on the role of the Mother of All Vampires. Sure, she looks great strutting around in that neo-Liz Taylor wig and skimpy Egyptian evening wear. But she also looks like the youngster that she is.

You want a Queen of the Damned? Try Tina Turner. Or even Tina's on-screen double, Angela Bassett. “The Queen of the Damned” needs a little more muscle, a little more life experience, than Aaliyah could muster.

Nevertheless, she's the queen, she's been awakened - somehow - by Lestat's music, and now she wants him for her king. Lestat is played by Stuart Townsend, who often looks more like Edward Scissorhands than the evil vampire he is.

Upon becoming a rock star, Lestat breaks the ultimate vampire code by “outing” himself and his brethren. In this jaded age, though, the only ones who seem upset by this are other vampires. Journalists and groupies flock to Lestat as if he were the second coming.

Meanwhile, another even more muddled story line involves Jesse (Marguerite Moreau), who works at an abnormal-psych institute and finds herself helplessly drawn into Lestat's world.

By the time the big showdown comes - during which, of course, Akasha decides to temporarily stop demonstrating how quickly she can cook up a dish of vampire flambé - the only thing you might care about is why it is that every time a vampire appears, it sounds as though someone is cleaning his glasses.

credits

TCU Daily Skiff © 2002