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Teachers
pets beg for favoritism; damage grades of classmates
Commentary
by Shawn Barnes
In high school,
teachers pets ran amuck. It was important to suck up to the
teacher back then because high school teachers would let their favorite
students into class even if they were a little late. A teachers
pet would always be the student chosen to run that all-important
errand that involved missing 20 minutes of boring civics class.
Brown-nosing got many people into high places, but what happens
to these suck-ups once they graduate from high school? They continue
to do what they do best suck up to professors in hopes of
attaining special favors.
High school
is just a training ground for teachers pets. College is where
pets fully use their skills to get a little favoritism. For example,
a teachers pet may get a little boost when semester grade
time rolls around, or amnesty on make-up work. These special favors
may be important to some people, particularly those who whine when
they get a B because they know in their hearts that
they would have gotten an A- if only they had stopped
by their
professor's office one more time in the semester just to chat.
Being a teachers
pet wouldnt even be an issue if it only affected the pet in
question.
Just like a
horny dog, teachers pets not only irritatingly hump the leg
of their owner, they hump the legs of everyone in sight.
In college,
teachers pets cause class to drag on because they feel that
they must comment on every single thing. The teachers pet
creed states that a pet must come up with a helpful analogy to reinforce
to the class what the professor has already said 100 times. A teachers
pets mission is to spend as much class time talking as the
professor does. They never allow class to end five or 10 minutes
early.
Teachers
pets are constantly reminding the class that they have taken numerous
introductory level classes on the topic of the class and have spent
the summer at a teachers pet educational camp, where they
studied with masters of teacher petology and, therefore, know everything
about everything. And of course teachers pets must share everything
with the class.
Well thats
fine by me. Walk into your foreign language class the first day
speaking the language because you reviewed chapters one through
three before class. Work on all of your papers and projects as soon
as they are assigned so that you can have time to ask questions
prior to the day before the assignment is due. Remind the professor
they forgot to assign homework for the weekend.
Do what you
do best, be a teachers pet. But dont forget you are
single-handedly throwing off the curve for everyone else.
Shawn Barnes is a columnist for the Technician at North Carolina
State University. This column was distributed by U-Wire.
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