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Character
today is shaped by regrets of yesterday This article will be moving dangerously close to the maudlin sentimentality and unapologetically unaware triteness that has up until now been exclusively columnist Chelsea Hudson’s fare. But in her and now my defense, just because something has become a cliché doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t bear repeating every once in awhile. The best sentiments, after all, are usually universal emotions uniquely expressed. So if this mawkish bit of “Dear Abby” style advice doesn’t get you up, next week I’ll be back to making esoteric asides and dealing with gay rights, or anti-abortion terrorists or something else as equally uncomfortable for those who claim to uphold the Constitution. For now it’s on to something everyone should have -- regrets. Everyone should have regrets. They are something wholly ingrained in the human experience. Playwright and screenwriter Roger Rueff once observed that one only attains character when, “you see the folly in something you’ve done and you wish that you had it to do over again… so you pick that thing up and carry it with you to remind yourself that life goes on.” A certain degree of wistful feelings are important because they help to temper our optimism and give weight to our sadness. It certainly would be hard in many cases to buy into the melancholy of people who feel themselves completely absolved of blame. The suggestion here is not that those who have succeeded through trial and error retain an unfair monopoly on wisdom and character but only that to err is a natural circumstance of anyone’s life. People without regret are people who have yet to deal with themselves honestly. Now much like Rueff, this article isn’t attempting to make the assertion that in order for people to attain honesty or character they should go out and do something stupid so they’ll have regret. This is because most of us already have. Everyone has done something that they should regret. How one attains personal honesty is to identify the recklessness, foolishness or tentative nature of their own actions and then deal with them. Until you accept that fact you’re only presenting yourself with an illusion of who you are. The key would then be not to avoid regret, for to do that is impossible and denies a very important aspect of existence and self exploration, but to avoid the regret of something left undone. We all attempt to avoid doing things we will later come to regret and not only is that prudent but also it involves quite a bit of common sense. Conversely I don’t mean to prescribe a reckless, “way hey” abandonment of the reality that actions have consequence. It is, however, true that proactive steps gain more experience and require more courage than the inactive. So put your name in for that internship. Sign up for the honors class you’re not quite sure you can handle. Take the initiative and ask the guy out before someone else gets to him first. As author Sydney J. Harris once said, “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” I already regret writing this column, perhaps you regret reading it… maybe that’s a start for both of us. Tim
Dragga is a junior political science major from Lubbock. |
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