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Polite
etiquette lies in the ‘no white’ fashion rule While growing up, there was only one rule in my house, and it regarded fashion. No curfew, no chores, no restrictions on language. Just one simple precedent to obey: No white shoes after Labor Day or before Easter. I know it sounds silly, but it means a lot more in terms of traditional values and holding onto the past. The shoes served as one of the family traditions that marked the seasons in my life as I was growing up. There was the “All-Red Valentine’s Dinner” (spaghetti, red Jell-O and strawberry shortcake), the wax dripping contests with the candles at church on Christmas Eve and turkeys made out of Ritz crackers and candy on Thanksgiving. Before Easter, my mom and I went shopping at Mace’s to get brand new white sandals for the fashion parade at church, where I joined all of the other little girls in their pastel dresses. My mother, a woman who bought me a dump truck for my first birthday and will pointedly go to another door if a man opens one for her, kept one remnant of female tradition from her mother and her grandmother and drilled it into my head: The white shoes rule. There was one Easter in particular that comes to mind, after having outgrown frilly dresses. I was about 13, still growing, and had missed the year’s shopping trip. Easter morning, in the post-egg hunt and pre-church break, it was discovered that my feet no longer fit in the white shoes I had worn the previous summer. Of course, they had to be worn anyway. It was Easter — time to bring out the white sandals. There was a lot of toe pinching, but my mother would never have let me out of the house wearing otherwise. It would have violated the spirit of the rule. So when others say this is an outdated concept, it saddens me. It’s part of good memories. It’s representative of childhood times and the beliefs of all the women I idolized growing up: My mother, grandmother and charm school instructor. But is it outdated? It can’t be, if everyone still knows about it (and they do). Oprah Winfrey declared on air a few years ago that she considered the rule to be a relic of the past, but does anyone recall Oprah ever being given the power to tell America what to do? She does, apparently, think she has the right to tell the entire country what to read though. The same way that I refuse to buy any book at Barnes & Noble with the “Oprah stamp” on the front, I refuse to listen to her fashion advice. No matter how warm it gets in these next few weeks before Easter, white below the belt and linen are inappropriate. It’s like wearing a Santa Clause hat in June. It’s polite etiquette to follow these simple guidelines. It’s similar to passing the salt and pepper together, using the correct fork, saying “please” and “thank you.” Mind your manners and don’t wear white shoes outside of the appropriate time. I flinch every time I see the violation occur. It’s inbred in me. The way men do double takes if they see an attractive women, I respond to white shoes. Ranks of women are behind me on this issue. You can hear them whispering whenever someone in white appears. The ladies in church talking about the women who wear white shoes too early. Advice on career Web sites that a woman will not be taken seriously if she does it. It’s the truth of the matter. Oprah may declare what she wants, but as long as the folklore of white shoes sticks around, women will judge. It’s admittedly petty. In the grand scheme of things outside of the fashion world, footwear is not that important. But still important to lots of women. Beyond fashion, it’s a polite tradition. It may not have entirely rational reasoning behind it. It’s just the “way it’s always been done.” It’s why forks are on the left of the plate and knives and spoons are on the right. It’s why every Christmas I end up with wax all over my hands. Why do any of it? It’s safe. It’s comforting. And my mom said so.
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