Israeli-American reflects on his identity far from the terrorist war
Commentary by Benjamin Rubin

“I live from day to day, not going anywhere, one day goes and another comes and nothing changes.” — Subliminal, Israeli rap artist
Tel Aviv, 1999 — A Frisbee was tossed and caught. A sandy page was leisurely read and flipped. After a long day, the sun finally sank into the ocean in a majestic, pale purple hue. I wasn’t thinking it at the time, but that was one of the happiest days of my life.

Associated Press, March 31, 2002 — Suicide blast in Israel kills 12.

Pittsburgh, Pa., 2002 — When I was younger and more idealistic and therefore, more stupid, I was obsessed with finding some great cause to fight for, some beautiful truth that I would proudly die for. I used to think Israel was that cause, and if needed, I would join the Israeli army and romantically battle alongside my people to defend our country.

Well, here’s your chance, buddy? Why aren’t you taking it?

I froze, I got scared. As war rages on in the land where most of my family lives, all I do is sit here and watch, feeling like a coward shying away from what I should do. Now I know that my love for Israel is only skin deep and from afar, because otherwise I’d be there right now. I hesitated, so now I know.

Jerusalem Post, March 30, 2002 — Tel Aviv cafe bomber wounds 34, 1 critically.

The March of the Living is a program that brings Jews worldwide to see firsthand the concentration camps in Europe from World War II. The tour always ends in Israel to symbolize the great freedom of the Jewish people after the Holocaust. This year, the portion of the trip to Israel was canceled, and there is no loss in symbolism this time around.
Reuters, March 29, 2002 — Israel launches major assault on Arafat’s headquarters.

This Palestinian “revolution” has caused more deaths than any other Israeli war, and the only reason it is not a war is because we don’t call it one. The glorious result of this proud underdog’s actions is death on both sides and a more powerful hatred.

I agree with Gandhi, who said, “An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind,” but it’s hard to make peace with someone who keeps trying to blow you up. And so after 18 months of strife few Israelis walk the city streets anymore for fear that the next time they go to pick up a damn loaf of bread, they’ll be killed. As long as Palestinians consider it a form of defense, war will continue. Until both sides want peace most of all, this vicious circle will continue, as everyone is ending up a loser.

“I heard a tremendous blast like I never heard in my whole life,” a woman said as she was taken away on a stretcher. “Pieces of human flesh fell near me, things I do not want to describe. I fell into the corner of a shop, and some woman dragged me after her,” she said. — Jerusalem Post, March 22, 2002

Ha’aretz Daily, March 29, 2002 — Two killed, 31 wounded in suicide bombing in Jerusalem.

I am an Israeli-American. I think it’s strange that half of my identity is only a fleeting concept — nothing more than an idea agreed upon about 50 years ago. This terrorist war is nearly impossible for Israel to stop. It is waged by disorganized individuals on a thousand fronts. The snake has no definite head.

The Independent (UK), March 28, 2002 — Suicide bomber kills 19 in Passover feast massacre.

Today, bombs will explode, guns will fire and people will die. Today, there are no answers and no light at the end of the tunnel.

“And as the anthem pierces, I have no other home.” — Subliminal
Benjamin Rubin is a columnist for The Pitt News at the University of Pittsburgh. This column was distributed by U-Wire.

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TCU Daily Skiff © 2002