Friday, October 12, 2001

‘Corky’ is glorified cheese, falls short on plot
“Who is Corky?,” the advertisements ask. My question is, who really cares?

I must admit the movie has very clever marketing ploys. Clever enough to get me hot and bothered and willing to venture to downtown Fort Worth on a weeknight.

Previews with star Chris Kattan of “Saturday Night Live” fame gleefully squealing along to A-ha’s 1980s hit, “Take On Me” and appearing in full Girl Scouts uniform complete with braids to sell cookies door-to-door are enough to pique anyone’s interest. It’s just too bad that those were the funniest moments in the movie, save for one additional scene involving an illegal white substance. The rest is glorified cheese.

So back to the question, “Who is Corky?”

Corky Romano is a veterinarian with a heart of gold. One day, in the middle of an event-filled morning, Corky receives a telephone call from his estranged father “Pops” Romano who wants a favor from his son. Corky, who believes his father is an important landscaper, is astonished when he finds out that “Pops” is instead a Mafia kingpin who wants Corky to infiltrate the FBI undetected to retrieve evidence that will be used in a trial to bring down “Pops.”

So you think you’ve heard this one before? Well, Corky goes undercover into the FBI as Agent Pissant (pronounced pee-SONT; “It’s French,” Corky explains) and needless to say, a whole slew of comedic errors occur.

The plot is where the movie went wrong. While the screenwriters kept the story line simple to follow, they chose to neglect the concept of character development. Corky is well-developed, but the members of his family fit into cookie-cutter roles that don’t lend much to the characters’ on-screen dynamics. Corky’s brothers are about as deep as kiddie pools and Vinessa Shaw simply does a shoddy job as FBI Agent Kate Russo which can be attributed to her poorly developed character.

In addition, the movie follows an inevitable path with a cathartic experience for Corky in the end and the tying up of all loose ends; a knot that is dipped in a vat of cheese.

Viewers won’t walk out of this movie thinking, “oh, that was nice.” They’re going to leave thinking, “what was that?”

“Corky Romano” is Director Rob Pritts’ first feature film and he is joined by a modest team of screenwriters David Garrett and Jason Ward. Kattan can’t really be considered a veteran either as he has only appeared in three other big-screen ventures: “A Night at the Roxbury,” “Monkey Bone” and “The House on Haunted Hill.”

Perhaps the fact that Kattan collaborated with a team of amateurs on this movie has something to do with its lack of success.

Although the overall film might be unsatisfactory, Kattan is definitely the star. Kattan brings Corky to life and makes even the hardened pessimist believe there can be an individual who constantly holds an optimistic outlook on life.

Okay, maybe that’s a stretch, but it sure is fun to see that vein pop up on Kattan’s head whenever he exerts a lot of energy. With more “SNL” cast members and veterans looking for some big-screen action, Kattan can certainly hang with the best of them.

“Corky Romano” is not worth the $5 to writhe in discomfort in those ratty seats where you can feel the springs poking your back. If you want to see a mindless, laugh-out-loud comedy, go see “Zoolander.” It has smarts and it has another “SNL” alumnus, Ben Stiller.

But if you’re convinced that there are funnier one-liners than “You guys want some cookays,” you’re wrong.

— Angie Chang