Learn to love yourself, including your faults
Commentary by Samuel Rose

What did Shakespeare mean when he wrote those most often quoted words, “To thine own self be true”?

Well, I believe at the heart of it was love (What else did Shakespeare write about?). Truly loving oneself requires honesty. It also requires humility. It accepts our faults, but strives to improve on our mistakes.

Alas, mistakes and faults are two very different things. Mistakes are the things we do wrong and we ought to correct. Our faults are our blemishes or, if you may, the things that are wrong with us.

But the paradox in this life that I am slowly learning to appreciate in myself and others is that these so-called faults are what give us character and beauty. They set us apart from other people. Some people even transform their faults into talents and skills that bless others and add productivity and ingenuity to their surroundings. Loving oneself requires not only accepting our faults, but recognizing the difference between our faults and our mistakes — and handling both appropriately.

Loving oneself requires accepting your limitations. It is within this acceptance that our lives are kept in focus and we are able to find true happiness. In this way we can operate within the realm of our strengths and even challenge our weaknesses from within a fortress of self-knowledge, honesty and love.

We often wonder why so many people who seemingly have everything are so miserable. It is because they have spread themselves so thin in pursuit of perfection, what remains is of little substance and less use. It is difficult for these people to accept the fact that they cannot be the best at anything they do. The truth about their limitations has battered and crushed them instead of inspiring and reminding them of their fallible nature as humans.

To love ourselves we must be patient with ourselves. Everything won’t happen as soon as we want it to. We must be tolerant, accepting and, of course, forgiving.

Do all of these tools for loving oneself sound familiar? They should.

These are things that we are told to “do unto others.” But these things are absolutely impossible to “do unto others” if we cannot do it unto ourselves. If we want to love our neighbor, we must find someplace in these jaded hearts to love ourselves.

Loving ourselves is by no means easy. This duty is made even more difficult living in our world today when we see few good and lasting examples of people loving themselves. In fact, so few of us take the time to even examine ourselves. This examination is a necessary step to unlocking our own love before we can begin to see it in others around us.

Nonetheless there are great barriers and hindrances put up to achieving this lofty ideal. The most endangered species in the world is theindividual who loves him or herself. This individual is being killed off by petty lawsuits and frivolous disability or special rights claims. The individual is being held hostage by mass media and popular culture. And the individual’s land and territory, the mind, is now occupied by conformity and fear. The greatest crime is when individuals in love with themselves are mistaken for individuals who love themselves.

However, the individual has one weapon in his corner: love. If love can conquer the domain of each person’s heart, then we can truly begin to enjoy all life has to offer. I challenge you as I have challenged myself, to love yourself, but to not be in love with yourself.

Before we seek to conquer the world around us, armed with our degrees and résumés, we must conquer the often unexplored and untamed territory of our hearts … with love.

Samuel Rose is a senior social work major from the Cayman Islands, British West Indies. He can be contacted at (s.j.rose@student.tcu.edu).

credits

TCU Daily Skiff © 2002